How to Write Your Wedding Vows
Working out how to write your wedding vows can feel like standing at the edge of something big, deeply personal, quietly powerful, and entirely your own. They’re not about perfection or poetry for poetry’s sake. They’re about telling the truth, in your voice, to the person you’re choosing – on this day, and every day after. Whether you’re a natural with words or staring at a blank page, this is your gentle guide to writing vows that feel considered, heartfelt, and authentic.
Grace Bride Alexis in the Clo Crepe Gown
Grace Bride Melissa in the Goldie Gown
1. Start With the Why
Before you think about structure or wording, come back to the reason you’re here. Why this person and why this life, together?
Try first by writing freely about:
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The moment you knew this was your person
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What loving them has taught you
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How has your life shifted since they arrived in it?
No editing and no pressure. This is the emotional backbone of your vows, even if not every word makes the final cut.
2. Find Your Tone (and Trust It)
Your vows should sound like you. Romantic, light-hearted, reflective, and quietly confident – there’s no right way, only what feels honest.
If humour is part of your relationship, let it in. If you’re more reserved, sincerity will always land deep. Read what you’ve written out loud and if it feels natural to say, you’re on the right track.
3. A Simple Structure That Works
IIf you’re unsure where to begin, this loose framework can be a good starting point to keep things flowing without feeling scripted:
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A reflection: how you met, what you admire, what this love means to you
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The now: who you are together, what you value, what grounds you
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The promises: the commitments you’re making, big and small
Think of it as a story – one that starts softly, builds meaning, and ends with intention.
4. Be Specific
It’s the small, intimate details that make vows memorable. The everyday routines. The quiet constants. The things only the two of you know, to ground your words in real moments:
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How they make you feel safe
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The way they show up, time after time
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What you love about who you are when you’re with them
5. Writing Your Promises
Promises don’t have to be heavy or formal to hold weight. They can be practical, poetic, playful, or all three.
A few questions to guide you:
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What do you promise to protect?
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How will you choose them, even on hard days?
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What kind of partner do you commit to being?
Balance the forever with the everyday. It’s often the smaller promises like listening, patience, and laughter that matter most.
Aim for around one to two minutes when spoken aloud. Enough time to say something meaningful, but not so long that emotion (or nerves) takes over. Edit gently, then read it again the next day and strip back anything that feels overly complicated.
A Note on Nerves
Feeling emotional isn’t something to overcome, but it’s part of the beauty of it. Pause when you need to and allow yourself to breathe and let the moment hold you. Your vows don’t need to be delivered perfectly – they just need to be authentic.
Your wedding vows are a rare moment, as they are a chance to speak directly, intentionally, and openly about your love, not as an idea, but as something lived. Write from the heart, trust your voice, and remember that the words that matter most are the ones that feel true when you say them.
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